The Business Networking Tips - When, Where, and Why to Network? (Part 1)

What Is Networking, and Why Should You Do It?

Why do I have to go to that boring association meeting? What's the point of going to that after-hours get-together? All I'll do is wander around. I won't know what to talk about. And I hate small talk! I'm afraid I'll say something stupid. What if they start talking about a topic I know nothing about?

Those are the types of comments I hear from my seminar participants. Networking seems like a painful exercise -- something to be dreaded and abhorred.

But what's the difference between business networking and going to a non-business social gathering? After all, you just walk around and talk to people at both types of events. Right? Not quite.

What Is Business Networking?

Business networking is a procedure for building rapport with the goal of generating new business leads. The purpose of networking is not to sell; it is only to establish rapport to a level that will allow you to follow up with your new acquaintance later on.

How Is Business Networking Different Than Social Networking?

"But wait a minute!" you say. "Don't we also build rapport in social gatherings that aren't business related?" Of course you do. But your goal is different. In non-business-related social gatherings your goal is usually to

(a) have fun
(b) renew or maintain existing friendships
(c) initiate new friendships.

With business networking, your goal is to establish rapport and build trust to a level that you will be able to follow up with that person at a later date to make a sale.

Why Do We Dread Business Networking?

Twenty-five percent of us suffer from what a University of Michigan study calls "smalltalkaphobia," or the fear of small talk. At a social gathering with people we know, we aren't affected by this condition because we know something about the other people attending and therefore naturally have things in common to talk about. But business gatherings are different; we often don't know the players and we don't know how to approach these strangers. The very thought of going to a networking event can cause some people to suffer everything from butterflies in their stomach to an all-out anxiety attack. Do you suffer from "smalltalkaphobia?" Take this quick test to find out. Respond to each question or statement with a "yes" or "no" answer.

1. Do I use any excuse I can to avoid a networking event?
2. When I am in a small-talk situation, the conversation seems to disintegrate quickly, and there's this awkward silence.
3. I worry that I won't be able to think of anything to say when I approach someone new.
4. I worry that I'll say something offensive or stupid.
5. I'm afraid the other person will ask me a question about a topic I know nothing about, but that I feel I should know something about.
6. I suffer from the "Garth" syndrome. ("I'm not worthy!")
7. When I enter into a small-talk conversation, I immediately start thinking of ways I can gracefully end the conversation and move on.
8. When there is a group of others talking, I am reluctant to join in, since I feel I would be rude and intrusive.

So how did you do? If you answered, "yes" to three or more questions, you're a smalltalkaphobic!

So, Why Should We Network?

If business networking causes us so much anguish and dread, why should we do it? Simple: because it's the most effective way of growing a business, creating a positive reputation, and generating new sales leads. The bottom line is this: people buy from people they like. And the best way to get people to like you is to establish and build rapport. This can't easily happen in a traditional business setting. Potential clients want to see how you operate in a social setting in hopes of getting to know the "real" you. They are hoping to find out what type of person you are and if you are the type of person they want to do business with.

To illustrate this, consider this: the U.S. Census Bureau asked 3,000 hiring executives to list and rank the qualities they consider most important when hiring a new employee. The results were as follows:

1. Good attitude
2. Good communication skills
3. Previous work experience
4. What previous employers say about you
5. How much training you've had
6. How many years of formal schooling you've had

Notice that attitude and communication skills rank much higher than work experience, education, and training. Now, if those are the criteria that managers look for when deciding who they want to work with, doesn't it also make sense that these are the same things a potential client will look for in a vendor? Of course it does! And the best way to find out someone's attitude and communication skills is in an informal setting. That's why you need to network.