8/19/2008

Blogger Tips - Top Six Internal Linking Tactics To Get Top Google Rankings (by Jason O'Connor)



If you own or run a website and are not following these six tactics for properly linking your website together then you're losing Google traffic as you read this. First some definitions. Internal linking is the links on your website that point to other pages within your same website. External linking is when you link to another website. Tactics are specific things to do to achieve desired results, or any mode of procedure for gaining advantage or success.


There are things you can do when developing or refining your internal linking structure. If you carry out the following tactics, you're going to achieve two things. One, you'll make your website better from a user's perspective. Two, you'll rank better in Google. And it's no coincidence that Google rewards you for doing things that make the website user's experience easier and better. In fact, the most important thing I can recommend is that you create, design and link your website together in a way that benefits the visitor first. Your visitors are most important, not Google rankings.

One last thing before I get to the tactics. Have you heard that links from other websites that point back to your website are essential in getting top search engine rankings, especially with Google? It's true. These links vary in their effectiveness and value depending on the website from which they're coming. But did you also know that internal links often can have similar effectiveness and value as external links? So bear this in mind as you read on.

1) Add links in your navigation or footer as text links to all your important pages and main sections.

This is a very easy and an extremely effective tactic that not all sites do, and even fewer do for maximum results. This is the first thing I look for when reviewing a website for a client. Unfortunately, sometimes artsy Web designers add cool buttons, which are images, to all the main sections of the site, but neglect to include text links as well. Or a programmer decides to make the website's navigation a dynamic drop down menu in DHTML or JavaScript but forgets to include text links to the same pages represented in the menus. Search engines cannot follow image links or links created in JavaScript, they can only follow simple text links, so be sure you add them to your site as well.

So if you want search engines to visit and index (or record) ALL your website's pages, be sure there are text links pointing to all the main sections of your site and to all your important pages.

2) Make use of the rel="nofollow" HTML tag.

This is fairly simple. Google created this tag which tells them NOT to count the link in their search engine ranking algorithm when used on a link. There's debate that maybe Google does count them a little, or will some day in the future. But for now, this tag does greatly decrease a link's value in Google's eyes.

Therefore, consider using this tag on some of your links within your site. For example, let's say you have a homepage and then create two inner pages, and that's the extent of the site. Let's further say that you add a link to both pages on your homepage. If your homepage has some external links pointing to it, then it has some value in regards to Google's ranking system. When you link to each of your two new pages within your site from your homepage, each page gets only 50% of the value the homepage has. (This is all measured in Page Rank). Let's then say that your first inner page is the one you want to rank well in Google, but you don't care if your second inner page even gets found by Google or ranked. You could add the nofollow tag to the second link on your homepage, thereby giving the first inner page 100% of the homepage's value.




Think of the implications. Imagine if you had a website with hundreds or thousands of pages and used the nofollow tag throughout. To understand how to implement this tag, see the two links in HTML below, one without it and one with it correctly included.

http://www.yourwebsite.com">Your Website

http://www.yourwebsite.com" rel="nofollow">Your Website

Finally, if you have pages such as a privacy page, terms page, checkout pages or contact pages that you don't care if they rank well in Google, be sure to use the nofollow tag when creating internal links to these pages.

3) Use descriptive & different phrases to point to the same inner page.

The words that are in the text of a link (also known as the anchor text) affect your search engine rankings. For example, the anchor text in the two links above is "Your Website". If enough of these links that were on quality and valuable sites, including your website's inner pages, pointed to the same page, it would eventually rank well in Google when someone searches for the phrase "your website".

Therefore, be sure to make the anchor text in all your internal links the phrases you want the pages to be found for in Google. If you have a page that sells "blue widgets", make the anchor text in links on other pages within your website that point to this page "blue widgets". Do it like this:

http://www.yourwebsite.com/blue-widgets.htm">Blue Widgets

Going back to the number 1 tactic above, you would be far better off making the anchor text in all your footer links as descriptive as possible. If you want to rank well in Google for "affordable blue widgets" then use this in your links that point to this page:

http://www.yourwebsite.com/blue-widgets.htm">Affordable Blue Widgets

Finally, vary your anchor text when pointing to the same page within your website. For instance, on some of your pages you could link to your Blue Widgets page with the anchor text of "blue widgets", then on other pages link to it using "affordable blue widgets" and then maybe use "widgets that are blue". This allows you to get the page ranked for multiple terms and helps the user since you're being descriptive and making your anchor text better match the content of the page it's on.

4) Make links in your content.

If you have text on your site, make some of the words within the text, links that point to other pages within your website. For instance, if you have an article about blue widgets, or a page that describes how great your blue widgets are, make the first or second occurrence of the phrase "blue widgets" in the text a link that points to your Blue Widgets page.

5) The Home Link Solution

If your website is typical, you'll probably have a link on every page that points back to your homepage. And you should because this helps users. By doing this, you're supplying a lot of link value to the homepage since it is getting all these internal links pointing back to it. Since in the number three tactic I recommended that you make your anchor text the same as what you want to rank for, the word "home" does you no good. I'll assume that you're not trying to get your homepage ranked for the word "home", so make the anchor text what you do want it to get ranked for.

The other option is to add the nofollow tag to all your 'Home' links, thereby canceling out the word "home" altogether.

6) Make important pages at most 2 folders deep with your site and at most two clicks away from your homepage.

The farther away a page is, the worse it ranks. So if you put a page in a folder that is five folders deep within your website folder structure, Google will likely consider that page not as important as a page only one folder deep. Also, make the pages in your website that are most important to get ranked two or less clicks away from the homepage. This is good for users and allows Google to index these pages more quickly.

By following these top six internal linking tactics, you'll be far ahead of the competition, you'll rank better in Google and you'll be making your website visitors' lives easier.




Read full history - Blogger Tips - Top Six Internal Linking Tactics To Get Top Google Rankings (by Jason O'Connor)

8/18/2008

Online Business - I Get Paid Through This Program!


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After usual process, the activation code, confirmation and bla bla bla, I just left the programs and without doing anything. And today, I opened my email - I am really suprised to find out that I have earned about USD 25 from Appliedi.Net and it is in my account. So, I have decided to share this info with my readers so that we can share the same revenue.

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For this affiliate program, you will become the Top Tier for anyone who joins its affiliate program through your affiliate link. And when you have registered, you will automatically receive USD 25 for being an affiliate which you can cash out directly if you have PayPal account. And if you don't, you still can receive your money through a check addressed to you. Wow, what a reward! Then, if you have your own people referred under you, you will get paid for for tier commission. And the current Tier Payout:
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Read full history - Online Business - I Get Paid Through This Program!

Life & Personal - How To Say I Love You In 100 Languages

How to say I Love You in 100 Languages

English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumem
Bambara - M'bi fe

Bengali - Ami tomake bhalobashi (pronounced: Amee toe-ma-kee bhalo-bashee)

Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Catalan - T'estimo
Cherokee - Tsi ge yu i
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda

Chinese:

Cantonese - Ngo oiy ney a
Mandarin - Wo ai ni

Comanche - U kamakutu nu
(pronounced: oo----ka-ma-koo-too-----nu)

Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Cree - Kisakihitin
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Elvish - Amin mela lle (From The Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien)
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Frisian - Ik hald fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe

Hebrew:
To female - "ani ohev otach"
(said by male) & "ohevet Otach" (said by female)
To male - "ani ohev otcha"
(said by male) & "Ohevet ot'cha" (said by female)

Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu / Aku cinta kamu / Aku sayang kamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru / Anata ga daisuki desu
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo / Nanun tangshinul sarang hamnida
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech gaer
Macedonian - Te Sakam
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu / Aku sayang kamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Maltese - Inhobbok
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Ndebele - Niyakutanda

Norwegian
:
Bokmaal - Jeg elsker deg
Nyonrsk - Eg elskar deg

Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gradh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing 'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Yo Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu

Thai:

To female - Phom rak khun
To male - Jan rak khun
Informal - Rak ter
Informal 2 - Ka rak khe

Tunisian - Ha eh bak
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo

Vietnamese:
To female - Anh ye^u em
To male - Em ye^u anh

Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe
Zazi - Ezhele hezdege
Zuni - Tom ho' ichema


Read full history - Life & Personal - How To Say I Love You In 100 Languages

8/14/2008

Jobseeker Updates - Bloglines Are Hiring - Senior Software Engineer


Guess what? Bloglines would like to hire you now! If you are a software engineer, and loves blogging, I guess this is the right place for you to switch into a new environment. You can apply for the post online or if you have any account with Bloglines, you can just simply login to Bloglines and take a look at a red-colored words at the bottom stated there "We're Hiring". Well, here are the details about the post:

Post : Sr. Software Engineer

Location : Campbell, CA 95008

Description :
  • Bloglines is seeking qualified candidates for the position of Sr. Software Engineer to work at our Campbell location. The Software Engineer will develop and implement a large scale data processing system in a distributed environment, in C++. The development tasks involve all aspects of scaling and improving a high-volume end-user focused web service.
Responsibilities :
  • Addressing scaling issues arising from storing large amounts of data and serving a lot of web pages
  • Maintain and improve RSS crawling and parsing processes
  • Implement new functionality
  • Develop tools and utilities to track progress and provide statistics
Technical Skill Level :
  • Bachelors degree in Computer Science, Computer engineering, related fields or equivalent field experience.
  • Very strong C and C++ understanding and development abilities
  • Very strong UNIX abilities, including multithreaded/multiprocess development skills
  • Good understanding of web protocols such as HTTP and HTTPS
  • Good understanding of performance issues in a UNIX system and distributed environment
  • Familiarity with web templating systems
  • Familiarity with RSS and blogs
  • Familiarity with scripting languages such as Python, Perl, or Bash
  • Familiarity with databases such as Sleepycat, GDBM, or MySQL
Professional Skill Level :
  • Able to work independently with minimum supervision.
  • Result oriented. Love to work on the problems until solutions are found.
  • Take initiative.
  • Able to actively drive project.
  • Be creative, patient and efficient, produce practical solutions.
  • Able to adapt to quick requirements change and produce quick solutions.
  • Attention to details.
  • Commitment to team.
Required Experience :
  • 5+ years experience
  • BS in computer science or equivalent field experience

Read full history - Jobseeker Updates - Bloglines Are Hiring - Senior Software Engineer

Life & Personal - 3 Hard To Believe Truths About Men


TRUTH #1: Men Don't Need To Chase

It's been said many times by many people that men need to be made to chase a woman in order to want her and commit wholeheartedly. Not true. In fact, this is plain wrong. Rather than wanting to "chase" a woman, men are humans first.

Which means... They want and need to feel a deep, emotional level of attraction for a woman if they are going to be moved to want bigger and better things with you in their life. That everyday "Physical Attraction" a man can feel for any cute woman who walks by is not enough, and will never be enough to make him want something more than a casual fling.

Long story short -

Men can and will want to get close to you even if they just feel this Physical Attraction for you - and you'll likely have a hard time figuring out if they are or aren't feeling that deeper and more intense and lasting Emotional Attraction. Not to mention, a man will get easily "bored" with you and be lazy about a relationship or any kind of commitment if he's not feeling this Emotional Attraction for you. So what is Emotional Attraction?

Emotional attraction goes way beyond what a woman looks like, what she says or how successful she is. If a man senses that a woman knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it, and that she has certain "standards" of what she will or won't put up with from a man, then he will feel incredibly drawn to her. It has nothing to do with playing GAMES or pretending to be "hard to get." If you think that men just want to "chase" a woman and that acting or being "unavailable" is a turn-on for him, then I have to tell you right now, you're not going to get far with a man.

What works to keeping a man interested in you date after date, week after week, is something magical that can only happen if he's feeling emotional attraction for you.


TRUTH #2: Men Feel Emotions Just Like Women

Believe it not, men are pretty sensitive. It's just how they handle what they feel that makes them hard to connect with about it, and hard to understand - Unless you know what's going on with how men handle these things in the first place. Men have a hard time dealing with strong emotions from women.

So you know...in a recent groundbreaking study of how couples interact when in conflict, it was discovered that men often LOOK detached or withdrawn because they feel intensely STRESSED by the argument. It's not that they're more "in control." On the contrary - they feel LESS in control. So they withdraw in order to try and cope. Fascinating.

One of the things men often say to women when there's a conflict or tension in the relationship is, "why are you being so dramatic?" Annoying, right? That's his way of saying, "This is getting too intense and I don't know how to handle it."

You have the power to bring him closer, even when you have something you need to express that isn't light or cheerful. There are certain ways to bring up difficult subjects to a man that ENGAGE him and make him want to do everything in his power to make you feel loved, safe and comfortable. Does it seem like an impossible feat? It's not.


TRUTH #3: Men Want Relationships

Men want to be in a relationship, and they have a strong desire to feel recognized as a great partner by their women. Have you ever accused a man of being "not ready" for a relationship?

Here's a mind-blowing statistic:

  • WOMEN (not men) break off relationships or file for divorce 70% of the time. That means that women are the ones initiating the end of a relationship much more often than men.

If that surprises you, you may also be surprised to know that a man enjoys being in committed, loving relationships as much as a woman does. AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T FEEL HARD TO HIM.

If you give a man the impression that he can't please you no matter WHAT he does, or that everything he does is pointless because he can't do ANYTHING right, then guess what? He's going to wonder if he's the right partner for you, and he's going to begin to doubt whether or not he should even continue the relationship.

Maybe you're saying, "but I don't do that!" It's true. You may not even be aware that you're doing this. But there are certain words and phrases that communicate this to a man whether you're aware of it or not.

Instead, when you show a man that you trust him to be a good partner to you, you will actually inspire him and trigger his devotion and attraction for you.

Read full history - Life & Personal - 3 Hard To Believe Truths About Men

Blogger Tips - Another Way To Monetize Your Blog


Let me suggest you to join this if you love making money from home, typing, and never get cheated - The Pay Per Post; the venue of many bloggers who get paid when they post something. Many have tried this service; and some of my friends claimed that they get paid. I don't know how good this ppp, but i get myself signed up for the program today.

As matter of fact, I have heard this program quite a long time ago. So, why don't all of us get a try. Plus, they never ask you to pay for signing up as many other websites which claim to pay you if you work from home with them. Below is the form that you can fill in if you want to join the program.


Read full history - Blogger Tips - Another Way To Monetize Your Blog

The Business Marketing Tips - 3 Simple Marketing Strategies For Your Small Business Explained (by Yves Marie Danie Baptiste)


Strategy #1. - You Must Understand The Lifetime Value of Your Clients

Every business owner needs to fully understand the life time value of their customers.This is the total profit that a customer will bring to your business over the lifetime of your dealings with that customer. The following example will explain why it's important to know this number: Let's pretend you own a book store. If your customer spends $50 every time they walk into your store, and they visit once a month for 4 years, a customer is worth $2400.00. The math would look like this: $50 (average bill) x 12 (number of visits) x 4 (number of years).

Think of how much money you're missing out on if you were thinking of only one transaction? Let's take a look at another example: John Smith sells a cd plus manual kit on how to self-publish a book. The initial manual set is worth $500. John knows that over the lifetime of a customer, a significant number will spend somewhere between $20,000 and $40,000 with additional products!

By knowing his numbers he can afford to allocate a significant amount of money towards his advertising budget to bring in more customers. Why? Because he is equipped with information that he'll make it up on average over the lifetime of the customer.


Strategy #2. - Build Up Your Customer List

Always collect their names, emails, and other contact information from your customers.How will you stay in contact with your customers if you don't collect your information? And if you do ask for their contact details on your sales slips and invoices, be sure you are using them!

And if you are wondering how you collect them it is as simple as asking them for it. This is best done during your customers' purchasing process by asking them to fill out a form with their details. There are many successful companies who did this for years and would mail you catalogs in the mail.

Don't you remember getting them? And when you received these catalogs you would find a comfortable place to relax with pen in hand checking off or earmarking the items you would later order. This enabled these companies to make more money from their customers.

Another way to get your customers to give you their contact information is by having a monthly drawing in which a prize will be given. It will amaze you how many names you could collect by doing this.

Let's say you own a restaurant, you can offer a free dessert to everyone who drops their business card into a fish bowl. It's not impossible to collect over 1000 names over the course of a month. How much will a dessert cost? $2 - $3, if that much. If all business owners were to implement this marketing strategy alone, they would be protecting their businesses in the face of stiff competition. They could send out snail mail to their customers with special offers on slow nights and watch them come flocking in.

This can also be done with emails and faxes. You want to generate more business? No problem. Send out a special promotion.


Strategy #3. - Develop A Strong Relationship With Your Prospects And Clients

If you want to generate new business that you can keep for a lifetime then you'd better make it a number one priority to keep in touch with your customers. The reason you'd want to do this is so that you can remain at the top of mind with your clients. When they're ready to buy, you're the one they'll think of first.

It's not unusual to hear cases in which a business will send out newsletters to their customers for years before they buy. You want to position yourself in such a way that when they're ready to buy -- you'll get the sale.

The lesson here: keep communicating and following up with your customers until they're ready to place an order with you.


Read full history - The Business Marketing Tips - 3 Simple Marketing Strategies For Your Small Business Explained (by Yves Marie Danie Baptiste)

8/13/2008

Business Updates - Accountancy: Career & Education Fair 2008


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Read full history - Business Updates - Accountancy: Career & Education Fair 2008

Life & Personal - 3 Quick Break Up Fixes and Remedies (by Christian Carter)






Are you having a hard time getting past a recent break-up? Maybe you were dating for a while and you thought things were pretty amazing, but he wasn't so sure. Or maybe YOU were the one who decided it was better to end things. But now you find yourself wondering if that was really the right move, because you're having trouble moving on.

Are you're still trying to figure out how to get him back, or show him that you're really "the one" for him? You text him, or call him, and maybe agreed to "still be friends" and hang out once in a while. But nothing seems to make you feel better. In fact, the more you talk to him or see him, the WORSE you feel.

Still, you can't imagine not talking to him at all because you still have some very intense feelings that just aren't going away anytime soon. In any case, you're feeling pretty "stuck" right now, and you don't know what to do about it.

If that's true, then stick around and keep reading, because in this article I'm going to give
you 3 powerful remedies for getting past a break-up and getting your love life BACK ON TRACK. These remedies will fast-track you through feeling better and getting past all the confusion of your break-up.

Take a few minutes to read and really THINK about each step, and then commit to follow through on each one. You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel. Here they are:


STEP #1: RECOGNIZE WHAT WASN'T WORKING FOR YOU

So let me ask you. Are you spending a lot of time thinking about all the ways you screwed up in your relationship with your boyfriend, but all the ways he was great?

Do you keep rehashing an argument, wondering if things would have been better if you said or did something different from the beginning with him, feeling guilty or bad that things moved "too fast" between you (and it scared him away)?

Do you daydream about all the ways he was special, and how you'll never find anyone who understands you quite the same way he did? Romanticizing or re-hashing the past is a pretty common thing many women do when they break up with a man.

Big mistake. Don't do this to yourself.

This is 100% sure to only make you feel MORE AWFUL, not to mention that it keeps you from focusing on what's most important to you right now.

And that is learning how to get what you want and how to have the kind of relationship you deserve in the FUTURE.

When you focus on your ex too much, and you spend your time "pining away" for a relationship, you miss out on a very important lesson. You stop seeing all the ways that the relationship made life a ROLLER COASTER for you.

You don't realize all the ways he wasn't right for you or made you feel less than your true self. You don't learn what it is your really want and need from a relationship in order to be fulfilled. Let's face it, you were led down some very negative emotional paths by this guy, weren't you?

So, instead of thinking only of the "good times" and how much you miss him, consider all
the things he did and said that made you feel insecure, anxious or frustrated - feelings that one way or another probably contributed to the end of the relationship.

What can you learn about yourself, love and men from the things that drove you two apart, so that you're sure to have a more intimate, loving and evolved relationship next time around. Don't repeat those same mistakes in your next relationship.

If you're starting to realize now that even if you love a man, you don't really UNDERSTAND what it is that makes a relationship actually WORK and last with one...

Or you don't understand what you're doing in the relationship that's causing him to withdraw or lose interest in you, you'll just keep bringing those same issues into future relationships.

STEP #2: STOP "LOSING YOURSELF" IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

You probably gave up a lot to be with your guy. You gave up time with your friends and family. You gave up doing things you USED to love doing - things like reading, exercising, going on hikes, visiting art shows,whatever.

You gave it up in order to spend time with him. You gave it up to make him feel comfortable. You gave things up because the RELATIONSHIP seemed important, and you wanted it to work. Sure, I get it. Many women feel like they need to give things up to keep a man happy and attracted. But if you're using that excuse to:

- Stay emotionally attached to him, because you feel that you can't "get over him" easily since you gave up so much

- Feel too depressed to go out with your friends or get back to the things that used to make you feel alive and happy

- Refuse to "get back out there" and date someone new.

Then guess what you're doing? Yep, that's right. You're STILL giving up more of you and your happiness for his sake. Even though he's out of your life.

Have weeks, months or years have gone by, and you're still in the same "sacrificing" place, putting your life on hold instead of realizing your own needs? Snap out of it!

You are actually continuing the very thing that helped break your relationship apart, and made you feel unhappy and unfulfilled.

STEP #3: BE READY FOR LOVE WHEN IT FINDS YOU

When you end a relationship that felt like it had a lot of "promise" and connection, it's hard to believe you'll ever find love again, at least in quite the same way. You might even vow not to date again for a LONG TIME, because you just don't want to get hurt again.

It can feel pretty safe to live inside the little "bubble" you make for yourself, just working on your career, spending time with friends, doing things that make you happy. What do you need a man for anyway? (You think.)

You put yourself and your love life in a "holding pattern" because you don't want to let another man in or get close. You don't want to be vulnerable. What's the point, if all that's going to happen is that you'll end up feeling more of the same, bad feelings you're trying to get over now - right?

Actually, no. I don't agree. Because if you're honest with yourself, you'll realize that you don't want to shut yourself off from what can be the opportunity for an amazing, life-long experience. That one great guy you're meant to be with could be out there right now. Unless you create the "space" for him in your life, you won't be ready for love when it finds you.

Ok, you may feel pretty in-control and safe right now, but are you LIVING? If you're not taking a risk, are you risking never feeling the LOVE and connection that could transform
your life someday? Nod your head right now if you feel even a GLIMMER of truth in what I'm saying. And here's another common thing I hear from women who aren't ready to date again. "There's no good men out there for me anyway. The ones I'm attracted to aren't attracted to me. Or they're taken."

I can see how you may feel that way if you're not sure how you're going to attract the RIGHT guy, or the type of guy you're into. Plus, your recent experience with men has been, well, less than great.

Like when a guy comes on strong at first, then suddenly tells you he's "not ready" for anything serious, or isn't "into" monogamy or commitment. No wonder you'd rather stick a twig in your eye than date again anytime soon.

Yeah, I get it. Alright, but what if I told you that you that I can help you learn exactly how to identify and ATTRACT the right guy, and give you an "edge" that you've never had before in dating? Would it change the way you think and feel about men if you knew exactly how to get a man close and connected to you and KEEP him wanting you and ONLY you, without games, manipulation or "tricks" of any kind whatsoever?

You'll attract quality men because they will "sense" that you are the type of woman they're looking to have something special with. Here's the truth about attraction: It's not about being a great beauty, or about seducing a man into having feelings for you.

Actually, it's about something deeper and more long-lasting. And the best part is, that once a man feels THIS level of attraction for you, almost nothing can keep him away from wanting to be with you.



Read full history - Life & Personal - 3 Quick Break Up Fixes and Remedies (by Christian Carter)

Life & Personal - The 3 Deadly Mistakes Women Make With Men Without EVER Realizing It... (by Christian Carter)


Mistake #1 : Leading a Man To Think That You Are "Needy" and "Insecur
e".


Did you know that there are 6 ways you can set off a man's "Insecurity Alert" and make him think twice about pursuing a relationship with you?

Sadly, even confident women often "accidentally" give off one of these signs... and just one can kill the chance of a man asking you on a second date.

As you read through these signals men pick up on as "needy" and unattractive, ask yourself if YOU have ever been guilty of committing one of these deadly mistakes:

  • Talking or saying nasty things about your past boyfriends. Saying bad things about men you have been involved with actually reflects the negatively back on YOU. It makes a man worry you are carrying around "baggage" that HE will have to deal with should he become involved with you.
  • Speaking negatively about other women. When women call other women names like "slut", "bitch", and "crazy", it is anything but impressive to a man you are attracted you. Women will often do this when they see a good looking, desirable woman, especially if they feel their man might be attracted to her. This just makes a man think you are trying to cover up your own insecurities, and looking for validation and attention. Not good.
  • Too much physical contact, especially in public. If you are constantly hanging on a man or touching him too much he'll start to see it as clingy behavior... but you'll never hear about this from him. It's far better to save your touches for short and infrequent moments that will surprise and enchant him.





Mistake #2 : Appealing To His Sexual Side Instead Of Emotional Side.

Many women make the mistake of thinking that men are primarily driven by sexalone... and think if they can attract a man SEXUALLY they will be able to attract him EMOTIONALLY as well.

Women too often give up sex to a man in the hopes that it will translate into a relationship and get them what they want. In reality, a man has the capacity to view a sexual connection and an emotional connection as two entirely different things, and it requires a special set of skills to mold these two things together in a man's mind... and keep them connected.

Men are out for far more than just sex... and a woman who knows how to fulfill a man EMOTIONALLY and SEXUALLY will be the woman who captures a man's heart... and gets that same fulfillment for HERSELF.

Mistake #3 : Not Knowing Of How To Size Up A Man's "Relationship Potential".

A lot of women will decide whether or not they should put energy into building a relationship with a man based on ATTRACTION.

Yes, attraction is important. But it can also be DANGEROUS.

When we feel a strong sense of attraction for someone, it can cause us to override our logic and ignore our instincts... leading us to overlook potential partner's deadly faults that could spell trouble down the road.

If you've ever found yourself stuck in a relationship that is dragging you down, this is probably why.

It's important to be able to size a guy up and spot any "warning signs" of a future bad relationship FAST... so you don't waste any of your time or emotional energy on someone who isn't right for you... or who will leave you heartbroken.



Read full history - Life & Personal - The 3 Deadly Mistakes Women Make With Men Without EVER Realizing It... (by Christian Carter)

Life & Personal - 4 Simple Rules Not To "STUCK" With A Friends With Benefits Relationship Ever Again (by Christian Carter)


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FIRST RULE : Know Yourself And What You Are After

You said, "I have made the mistake of admitting to a friend that I have feelings for him." It's NOT a mistake to share your feelings with a man. It IS a mistake to share your feelings with a man:

1) too early
2) in a negative context.

You set yourself up for failure by choosing and "tolerating" a situation that just doesn't work for you. That situation is being "ok" with a purely physical situation when in fact you need-and want-more. When you’re OK with the way things are one minute, but then are looking and asking for something more and saying you’re not happy with the way things are NOW, you’ve INSTANTLY become the kill-joy and antagonist in the relationship.

One minute you're blissfully happy in his embrace and then a day or two later you’re sulking and awkward because you just blurted out what you feel or what you want, and you’ve taken him by surprise.

All because of a "talk" you wanted to have with him. Yeah, I'm riding you a bit hard here, but it's for your own good. Instead of being open with yourself about what YOU are truly after, you pursued this "friends with benefits" strategy to get things moving. That's why you're freaking out. You thought you could handle it. You thought you'd get something out of it. And for a minute, it was fun. But then your feelings snuck up on you.

Eventually you were reminded of what you're really after with a man and what you value. Right now you have two pictures in your mind: One picture is of this "casual" thing going on. And the other one is what you actually want.

The two pictures are so radically different and far apart from each other, that it's no wonder you're acting "insane".

Your expectations are COMPLETELY out of line for what you're ACTUALLY doing with this guy. It's time to stop creating situations in your life that you KNOW won't make you happy or comfortable in the long run - even if they feel good in the moment.

SECOND RULE : Find Your Personal Standard and Stick To Them

Starting things with a man in this "casual sex" way, is a SUREFIRE way to ruin your odds of creating something more meaningful in the future. I'm a guy. I know.

But, more importantly, getting into a "casual" situation with a man you might want to date more seriously and exclusively, has a VERY HIGH potential to make you FEEL AWFUL.

So... Unless you're one out of a hundred thousand women that gets "swept off her feet" by an open, caring, great communicator, who makes moving into a committed relationship effortless... then you're going to have to start asking yourself some real questions about what you really want from your love life. And once you have the answers, actually be honest about them from the start. Here's an important question to ask yourself:"WHAT ARE MY NEEDS?"

And I do mean YOUR needs. Not his. Not what you're accepting or tolerating or hoping to get from a man just because there's nothing better around right now. Be clear here and think it through. I'll give you a minute...

Most of the women I know who are dating have a set of subconscious requirements from the men they’re seeing. That they be honest. That they be exclusive. That it’s going somewhere, and it’s not just going to be casual dating forever.

But these aren’t things they are willing or able to communicate directly with the man they’re seeing. So, they end up in a situation that is anything but what they were looking for. They say, "This is fine for now. I’m just enjoying myself."

They are not being honest with themselves about their bottom-line "must-haves" and therefore can’t express these things to the man, either.

From my experience, here are a few of these "must haves" that women often aren't honest about at the start:
  • That any man they're involved with, in any way, isn't dating or still involved with another woman
  • That he's open and ready to explore a serious relationship once they get to know each other
  • That they share the same values and priorities - or he can at least appreciate and support her values
So, how in touch are you with your REQUIREMENTS to feel good when it comes to men and dating? And how do you communicate these to a man? Do you do it indirectly by acting frustrated and angry when your needs aren’t being met, after you’ve already become intimate and emotionally vested in the relationship?

Or do you do it directly and in a positive context as things are GETTING STARTED, so you're in sync from the get-go?

Remember, 99% of the time, a man is NOT going to make the right decisions for you, or magically and telepathically recognize and meet all your needs. Sticking to a set of minimum standards and then communicating those helps show a man what it’s going to take to make you happy.

THIRD RULE : Radically Reject Behavior That Does Not Meet Your Personal Standards

I observed something FASCINATING about people and relationships a few years back. When we’re in a situation that causes bad feelings and friction of some kind, there is always some kind of "payoff" for one or the other person...and that’s why they persist in sticking with the bad situation.





Here's what you're getting out of the "casual" thing...
  • You get a safe and risk free path to get close to this guy. Even though technically you're not "close" at all. I call this "working it from the 'friend zone'". After all, how vulnerable would you be if you shared what you REALLY were looking for up front, BEFORE you slept with him?
You might be disappointed or rejected, or you would be unable to continue the "friendship" that you have right now. And maybe having to start over alone might actually be worse in your mind than having something crappy and low-quality that you're "tolerating" now.

But if you look deeper, you'll probably see that your desire for something more was there all along underneath the surface. Therefore, I doubt that you could have been "just friends" with him anyway, even if you never slept together, without you feeling gypped in some way. That’s why you have to show a man that you’re strong and you know what you want, and you won’t settle for scraps or second-best or "good enough for now."

My favorite way of thinking about how to do this, is to be like a "velvet hammer." Be strong and assertive, but warm and gentle at the same time. Say, "I really like you. Probably too much to be JUST friends. This is why I’m not sure we should continue this situation unless you feel the same way."

If you can say this in a way that doesn’t include BLAME or guilt or pressure from you, it the response a man will give will be MAGICAL. He’ll open up and meet you at the level of
honesty and respect you’re coming at him with. And as tough and as "bitchy" or self-centered doing this might sound right now, this is exactly what you need to say to a man if you really want something more with him.

And doing this, and only this, can get you out of your "friends with benefits" situation and into a great relationship. Trying anything else is almost sure to end up in a series of misunderstandings and hurt feelings. But you might be thinking - WHY does this kind of language work with a man?

Because it sends a strong SUBCONSCIOUS signal to a man that the woman is in CONTROL of her life and her world. There's nothing that triggers more intense "long-term" attraction in a healthy and mature man, than a woman who he CAN'T control and doesn't get thrown off-center when her needs aren't met.

Using the "velvet hammer" also has another AMAZING benefit that women don't often recognize... or they don't even see as a benefit at first. It WEEDS OUT the guys who DO need to go away because they're never going to get their act together in the first place, or just don't want to.

You don’t want to be stuck in a dead-end situation that’s just going to make you feel WORSE than you felt before you met him, do you? Of course not.

And sure, sometimes a guy will hear that and disappear for a while. But the best part is, if he’s one of the "good guys" you want to be with for the long-term, he’ll come back around.

And when he does, he’ll have done all the leg work to be a better, more conscious partner. The kind of partner you could have never molded yourself through any amount of fixing or convincing.





FOURTH RULE : Discover and Use What Creates Deeper Connection and Attraction With Men

Ever hear of "approval-seeking" behavior? It's when we try to do and say things simply to
get a positive reaction or judgment about ourselves from someone else. Well, it's a HUGE MISTAKE to make with a man early on. Your need for your guy's APPROVAL is your worst
enemy right now. To him, what you're doing is actually the complete OPPOSITE OF ATTRACTIVE.

I'll give you an example...

Have you ever seen what it looks like when a man is shamelessly seeking the approval of a woman? As he's just getting to know her and he sees that she hasn't completely made up her mind to want to be with him, what does he do?

He buys her gifts.

He calls her all the time.

He offers to do favors and errands for her.

All these are attempts to prove to her that he's good enough to be with her or to get her attention. This is also known as the "really nice guy" approach. Women just never seem quite "feel it" for the super nice guy. Not because of the gifts and flowers and favors, anyway.

A guy can already be attractive AND do nice things. Agreed?... But doing nice things doesn’t MAKE a man more attractive.

Instead of feeling attracted to a guy you weren’t too "into" at first, you start losing respect for him when he goes overboard and tries too hard with the calls, favors and gifts. You lose respect because you know you can CONTROL him.

This isn’t conscious, either. It’s just how you feel, and feelings are pretty powerful forces. Ever stop to think that the same thing might work in reverse between a woman's behavior and a man's? That a man may feel like he can "control" you if you’re running around trying to please him or do favors for him or be "nice" to him in order to get him to want you? Interesting...

For men, approval-seeking behavior KILLS the spark that comes from the uncertainty of not knowing exactly how the women he's with is going to think and act.

If he can predict what you’re going to do and feels like he "has" you in the palm of his hand, what is he going to wonder about when it comes to you? And what if you start acting predictably NEGATIVE? Think about it...

It's a "natural tension" and challenge of not having CONTROL and uncertainty that creates strong ATTRACTION in men.

What most women ask in situations when a man isn't responding the way they want him to is... "WHY is he acting this way and how do I make sense of it and "fix" it?". Well, you can't "fix" a man. And I really feel for you if you're one of those women who are trying. But, you CAN change a situation and the FEELINGS that a man is having for you.You can change how he experiences you.

The toughest and most important thing to understand is that men’s behavior and thinking in these situations isn’t at all LOGICAL. In other words, how a man reacts doesn't make ANY "sense" and doesn't follow any rhyme or reason. So, of course, it baffles and frustrates women when they run it through their own "sense- making filters."

Let me ask you a question... If you were an attractive man, would you want to find a woman that you had to TEACH how to make you attracted and feel good... or would you want a woman who just "got it" on her own... "naturally" and everything flowed?

Duh. (there's that scientific word again)

You'd want the woman who already "got it." So, more likely than a conspiracy against women, men just naturally respond to women who GET IT, and DON'T respond to women who DON'T. OK, let's talk about these concepts a little bit more.

Attraction, and wanting to be with a woman, is about a man perceiving that he and a woman are "naturally compatible" because his emotional and physical sparks fly when he's around her. NOTE: I did NOT use the word "logical" here.

Attraction and wanting to be with a woman long term is NOT the result of a man meeting a woman and then thinking to himself: "Let's see...she's got a good job, works hard, is pretty cute, and is a really good person... Hmmm, I think that we have some natural attraction going on here." WRONG.

For a man, attraction and the desire to be with a woman, and stay with her, is either THERE or it ISN'T. There are no two ways about it.

Fortunately for you I’ve put together and entire program just about attraction: how it works for a man, how to trigger it, what to avoid doing so you don’t accidentally "kill" it. Exactly what does it take for a man to feel a longing for you, to feel connected and devoted to your happiness?



Read full history - Life & Personal - 4 Simple Rules Not To "STUCK" With A Friends With Benefits Relationship Ever Again (by Christian Carter)

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About Me

Ms. Anne Ai ling Mustapha
Bangsar, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
A 26 years old university-graduated and simple young lady, who lives her daily life and feeds her soul by blogging about information. Comes from a mixed parental background of Thai Chinese from her mother's side, and Malay Java from her father's descendants. The only children of her parents.
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